because once you open your mouthonce you say it out loudonce you give it a nameit is that thingand you become that personthat had that thing happento them
and then once you are that personpeople will always ask youhow you became that personwhat happened to make you this person and when and why
and some people will askif you are sure you are that personsome people won’t believe you at alland each time someone newputs their hands on your bodyyou will have to tell themwhat kind of a person you areand hope they will maybebe gentle
And the worst thing is you do it to yourself / moving image / stills and installation view / 9:34 / 2017
In And the worst thing is you do it to yourself a monologue fades in an out over footage of repetitive domestic activities. You hear the character doubting, stumbling over their thoughts, remembering, or imagining, they wash the dishes, make a cup of tea. It is slow, something like the feel of a Sunday.
Rejection of a linear narrative allows for the text to alternate between brief lapses into abstraction and a more concrete description of their physicality. Sensations felt in the present moment may appear more stable than memories, or the unsteady gaps around them, so the text clings to the physical.
Using these fragments one begins to connect to a post-assault narrative, piecing together crumbs to try and form proof or at least coherence. And the worst thing is you do it to yourself is about the distrust of memory in relation to certain kinds of subjects in which suspicion is already written into the public discourse surrounding them.
Exhibited at Practical Masochism, HelsinkiScreened at Third Space, Helsinki